Junior

Meu amor

Quando pensei que me tinha perdido,
que o meu mundo tinha morrido,
apareceu o meu amor,
um verdadeiro amor...

Antes de te ter,
o meu mundo era diferente,
os teus beijos suaves no meu rosto,
como viviu sem eles não sei...

Porque nao estas meu amor,
comigo sempre,
so me quero ver,
espelhado nos teus olhos,

Te amo, sempre

...

Valentines day

Yesterday I went for dinner at Ebbas and Simona was there too. We drank wine (obviously), spoke about our week and got ready to go out. Simona helped Ebba straighten her hair, apparently her first time... he he funny. Anyway, was another night at Agra. Nothing new, just same old same old. I used to always go to Tequila but that's just different. The environment is better, and I don't get bored of it as much. But I am getting bored of Bairro Alto a bit, always same place. The times me and Jr go to other places we have so much fun.

It's Valentines day today... oh well, lucky me! I got a whole hour with my Jr awake... AAAAH. I hate his work hours. I truely hate it! We can never do anything together. I work weekdays, office hours. He works evenings, including fucking weekends. What's that for a life? Seriously. Gaa!! Anyway, happy valentines my love. I love him to bits despite his crappy work commitments. One day... one day...

Oh, today I spoke to an old friend on msn, Ivo. Have not seen him since 1995-ish except from this one time I saw him in a restaurant last year. Crazy! I love facebook and msn, it is so easy to find old friends and keep in touch, amazing really. My friend Ivo has a band ("Luis e a lata") so I am going to see him one day with my sister. Sounds pretty good so check it out!

Gonna make me some food, catch you later.



...

Hung over or old?

I went out last night, and it was the first time in a while actually. It was nice, me and my sis Ebba had dinner at my place whilst working on one of those future plans we share. Plenty of wine and giggling later we headed out to Agra where we met Eric and Lorena, Eduardo, the Mexicans and of course the guys were working; Pollo, Yunior and Alex.

My Jr came about 3.30am and picked me up to go to a Dutch guys house who had a party, it was in a flat in Bairro Alto so not far away. The flat was full of people I don't know and we ended up chatting with the Dutch guy, whose name I think was W something, and his girlfriend, whose name I don't know at all. She was from Canada, but half Jamaican! We all moved onto Incognito and stayed there for a while. Was a calm night, just nice chatting and no dancing. Jr and I went home, cooked something that yesterday seemed delicious, and went to bed about 6.30am. I had a good time even though it was nothing special, was nice to go somewhere different and seeing some different people. That's so great with Jr cos he meets a lot of people with his work...

I woke up this morning, or should I say afternoon, and felt pretty ok. I said to a half dead Jr that it was so good that we had not been drunk last night, to which he moaned something and turned around. I then fell asleep again and woke up about an hour ago, feeling hung over?!?! My weekend is just gone! Again!!! Dagnamit as my friend says.

I am now going to procrastinate, which is something wonderful, until it is time to sleep again. There is some maffia movie on and I am sure it will do.

Monday tomorrow, shit loads of work and gym is waiting.

Oh I never mentioned, Tequila is closed for some work they are gonna do so I have not been helping there for a while. Its great, cos weekends are just sacred. When they open again I am not gonna help again, unless as acting guest and helping them finish those tequila bottles.

I have also passed my final CeMAP exam, and I did another qualification after that which is CeRGI. Maybe that's why I have not had time to write here for so long, makes sense eh. I am going to Brazil in March and when I come back will start on another qualification, CSP, which then leads on to CF which is the final one I guess. I am hoping to be done with it all by end of 2010. If so, I will then be a fully qualified financial adviser and can speak to clients about pension planning, investments etc. It's gonna be really cool. I am now just allowed to advise on mortgages and insurance products. Which is fun too but not enough.

Well, have a busy two years ahead of me, guess all those plans I have will have to wait...


Ciao,

Lots of loving!




....

I want it all!!

I really wish I had more time to write, but work takes over my life completely. It sucks, is that what my life is all about? Work and no fun? I used to think I never wanted a man like my dad, cos he has always been completely hooked up with business stuff... but I am becoming just like him. Its so ironic. It's so sad. I am young and I am full of life, ideas, dreams and have no time to fulfill anything. Then there's that little detail called money, Jesus how can I work my arse off every day and still have to worry about money? It's not right, nor fair. But as they say, life is a bitch, and it sure isn't fair.

I guess I am one of the few people in the normal world, with a normal job, who can honestly say she loves her job. Strange considering I often feel exhausted... Anyway, I want more! I hope that one day my entry in this blog will be about a new adventure. A new job, a new place, a new salary. I am stressing about it you know, I am almost 30 and I feel life is running past me and I can't keep up. I am stuck.

My boyfriend Jr says I am always changing my mind and he never knows what I want. I understand him, but it is because I want it all, only one day certain things more than others. I want to move to London and work in my area there to get more experience and money. I want to move to Stockholm, have an organised and simple life there with kids and all. I want to move to Brazil and have my pousada, live a soft life and work for myself... and I also want to buy an apartment here in Lisbon, move in with Jr and just continue building my life here. I can't have it all right? Or can I...

I have so many feelings, but such small vocabulary to express them all.

I am a dreamer without and ending...