I want it all!!

I really wish I had more time to write, but work takes over my life completely. It sucks, is that what my life is all about? Work and no fun? I used to think I never wanted a man like my dad, cos he has always been completely hooked up with business stuff... but I am becoming just like him. Its so ironic. It's so sad. I am young and I am full of life, ideas, dreams and have no time to fulfill anything. Then there's that little detail called money, Jesus how can I work my arse off every day and still have to worry about money? It's not right, nor fair. But as they say, life is a bitch, and it sure isn't fair.

I guess I am one of the few people in the normal world, with a normal job, who can honestly say she loves her job. Strange considering I often feel exhausted... Anyway, I want more! I hope that one day my entry in this blog will be about a new adventure. A new job, a new place, a new salary. I am stressing about it you know, I am almost 30 and I feel life is running past me and I can't keep up. I am stuck.

My boyfriend Jr says I am always changing my mind and he never knows what I want. I understand him, but it is because I want it all, only one day certain things more than others. I want to move to London and work in my area there to get more experience and money. I want to move to Stockholm, have an organised and simple life there with kids and all. I want to move to Brazil and have my pousada, live a soft life and work for myself... and I also want to buy an apartment here in Lisbon, move in with Jr and just continue building my life here. I can't have it all right? Or can I...

I have so many feelings, but such small vocabulary to express them all.

I am a dreamer without and ending...